Did an Illegal Alien Steal Your Job?
Peepul: As we all know, those illegal aliens sneaking across our borders—from all sides, not just from Canada —are stealing jobs by the MILLIONS!!! It’s a well-documented fact that the job loss of reel ‘Mericans is sending this country down the slagheap toward foreign domination whether it be shipping jobs across rivers and lakes or having Greyhound transport those intruders unto our own shores. Well sir, I for won have had enuff! It’s time for ‘Merica to fight back!
Peepul: We are being attacked, stepped on, having our clocks cleaned, our noses picked, jerked just short a’ cumin (though caraway seeds are a nice substitute), spit upon, spat at, puked on (well, that’s not so bad; the acids of the bile serve well to destroy unwelcome intruders), and downright insulted! It’s defecation of character is what it is and who’s sitting at the head? Why, the Left, of course, those free-swaying, long-boned, too big for their bitches, uppity show-offs are welcoming those aliens with open mouths and spread legs. So cum on, ‘Merica. Let’s show em wat we got.
We can fill those jobs these aliens are taking from us like maggots sucking the protein out of shit, like lice nibbling at the scalp, like that bitch whore emptying the bank account while the guy’s out working his ass off just to keep it outa the red and all she does is slap that money down on the Blackjack table turning it into squat, then running off with some bald-ass bartender livin’ two doors down from where that sucker is sleeping-prepping for another hard day of work. mudderfaaaaacker, like dingleberries yanking out the hairs on a dry wipe, yeah, those jobs, all our jobs--from the brainiest nuclear physicist down through the potheads working retail at JC Penny who can’t figure out the register to make an exchange on a $19.99 pair of jeans for a $59.99 bra and taking so long that he works the customer’s patience through a screw hole forcing the guy to fake-slip on the floor in the home furnishing section and stumble into a table holding three different sizes of Le Creuset Oval dishes, dashing them to the floor where only one of them breaks (dammit!) and holler “My back! Ow! My back!” but nobody believes him, it’s just “Please leave,sir, before we call the police” to the pea-picking wet backs too maimed to stand upright and piss straight--Yeah, those jobs.
Peepul! It’s time we took our jobs back! Yeah, those jobs.
Let’s begin with the pea-pickers too stooped to reach the doorknob. What qualifications do you need for a job like that? Do you have to be able to read? No! Write? No! Use a napkin or even toilet paper? Hell no! Do you even hafta be able to string three consecutive coherent thoughts together without blowing a hole in your brainpan? Fuck no! And we got plenty of peepul qualified for positions like that! Our schools are churning them out by the tens of thousands. Hundreds of thousands of fingers just itching to wriggle in between the leaves, reaching for the peas, squeezing the peas, picking the peas, pocketing the peas and a paycheck! It’s agriculture—off the charts for those Washington bureaucraps spying on hard-working corporations just trying to stay alive. The 'Merican farmer has wrestled control from that Big Government minimum wage-anti-free market Commie payroll controlling bullshit—at least here the hard working small farmer working alongside Lassie and Timmy has a chance to survive by paying reel ‘Merican wages to reel “Mericans. It’s ‘bout comp’tition! And if those border scurrying commie-terrorists figure on working for six dollars an hour then we’ll work for five! And if one of them dot-head turban toting slant-eyed South ‘Mericans wants to go down to four, hell, we’ll go down for three! Ain’t that right boys? That’s ‘Merican! Reel comp’tition!
Peepul: We have already readied a generation of excellent pea-pickers. Visit your neighborhood high school. Cain’t read! Cain’t rite! Cain’t string together three coherent … uh, what was I sayin? Nevermind.
Anyway, the workforce is ready. Like an Iraqi soldier needing work after Saddam ran from his roost, these boys (No girls allowed--a woman's place is in the home, just like the Bible says, ain't that right Teasters?) need somebody to work for. So why let the illegals grab up all the work. Reel ‘Mericans know what it means to work hard. Aiin’t that right, boys? Reel ‘Mericans know what it means to sacrifice. So go git them jobs, ‘Merica! Ten percent of us are just sitting around wanting for opportunity to come a-knocking. Well, here it is. Plenty of jobs in the fields and the illegals are grabbing them up. Why be sitting on your tush earning nothing when you could be hauling ass earning something. Three bucks is better than nothing, ain’t that what you’d tell your chillum? So let’s put ‘Merica back to work! Get out there. That’s how the rich do it!
I’m fired up! Part two coming right back atcha soon!